The Genesis of ●VERITAS MENTORS●

I am youthful, vibrant woman with a zeal for working with the youth and mentoring them… This is what woukd read on my CV was I job hunting. However, this is the real me. I am so passionate about being a beacon of hope to others after me who may feel like they can’t find their way around life’s murky waters…

In introspection, I think it has everything to do with me lacking someone to show me the way, growing up.

My mother was an amazing woman.She made her best friend and as such we had quite an easy relationship. May her soul rest in absolute eternal peace. However, I sometimes feel like she was a tad bit too permissive.  She let me get away with a lot of things (most of the time especially in my teenage) Like when I was among the group that lead a strike against the school administration while I was in High School or when I wrote on a questionnaire that I wanted to become a bank robber because theu got rich easily and quickly she should probably have dug deeper to understand my thinking, than to dismiss it as a phase.  I may have been a rebel without a cause or a brilliant brain that was thinking ahead of my time.

I do not blame her though.  She must have been struggling with her own life. She was unwell.  Had tumours in her brain which she probably knew had no cure. Her marriage was a sham. It was trouble each day.  There was my brother to raise… May be it just wasn’t so easy on her…

On her exit from earth, a huge responsibility was placed on my head.  Something I still have so much issues with.  The adults who came to bury her told me over and over again that I was the one who had been left to fill in her shoes… I was a teenager for crying out loud. She died at 40 so how in my teenage wisdom was I supposed to fill that gap??

Well, I believed in that lie. And boy did I try to hold what was left as a family together.

My days in campus were marked with prolonged periods of absence trying to sort out a family issue.  If it wasn’t my brother it was my father I was practically raising them and no, it wasn’t easy for me.

The only semblance I had of a family in my head was my mum’s relatives.  I hoped they would take me under their wings to raise me but they turned their backs on me too. From sabotaging my career choices to sabotaging my campus of choice, asking their children not to associate with me because I waa trouble, they were constantly tearing me down. I don’t blame them, I have never lost a blood sister so I wouldn’t judge them for their choices…

It took me years of running around like a headless chicken to figure myself out.  And I was glad that I got the mentorship and guidance I need to carry on with the rest of my life.

And this brings me to my ardent desire to walk the journey with someone who probably doesn’t have anyone to show them which way to go. My desire to walk the journey with someone who perhaps needs to hear a different voice telling them that they are responsible for all their thoughts, their actions and ultimately their lives. A voice that  can show them that we all have the DNA for greatness. Yes, we all have the neurobiology for Greatness.(This is a lesson on it’s own)

Walk the journey woth someone who is in despair and another one who probably feels like being deviant is a punishment to the rest of the world but not to themselves.

I opine that some times all it needs is someone to hold your hand. Draw the map together with you, to set you on your course and along the way help others the same way you have been helped. Sometimes, the opportunities are always right in front of our eyes but we have very clouded judgements so we can’t see. Sometimes, all it needs is a little tweaking of our thought processes for us to raise a different generation.

While we may not be able to adjust the direction of the wind, it is within our inherent power to adjust the sails on our boats to get us to the desired destination.
Continue reading “The Genesis of ●VERITAS MENTORS●”

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The Epilogue of Love

And soon as they’d agreed to be just friends, he’d blocked her again.  This time she was sure this was the last of the last…

Well, how had it all begun?

After their initial meeting. She knew she was falling hard and in love with this Prince character.  He had all the qualities she was looking for in a man. She wanted to meet him again and again.

That night she went back to their Genesis. His Facebook account.  She wanted know exactly what she was getting herself into.

And gallivant she did.  She devoured every little bit of information that was public on his wall. His female friends.  Those who liked his photos.  What his replies were to the women. Those with local names… She appointed herself detective.

You know when they say, what you doesn’t hurt you… She wasn’t quite prepared to see what she saw… Her knight in shining armour had told her things that were incongruent with what she was seeing on his page right about then…

At the beginning of their chatting he had mentioned that he was of mixed origin. His mother South African and his father Nigerian. I guess she had been drawn to him because of this exotic combo. This girl liked to be different and she liked to stand out from the crowd…

He had told her he was less than six months old into their country and that he had already fallen in love with her country and that he was planning on settling there.  Him meeting her, was the cherry on the cake.  At their meeting, he had mentioned that he was planning on making her his wife at the soonest opportunity available.

On his wall however, there were photos of his dating back to two years. She got confused… He had taken photos where she had been that very day… He had more female friends with local names more than he had said he did… She got puzzled.

The longer she stayed on his page the more she saw inconsistencies with what he had told her earlier in the day… It was way past midnight when she finally gave in to sleep.

She slept a broken heart.

As was now the norm, he woke her up with the all too usual video calls. He was excited to talk to her that morning.  She wasn’t her usual self. He quipped. She insisted all was well… but it wasn’t.

Later on through their chats that day She asked him about what she had unearthed the night before.  In his already too usual style, he denied it! He even went ahead to ask her to send him evidence of the same. This was becoming harder than she expected it to be. They went mute on each other for a few hours. They both needed time out. Probably for one to think about his line of defence and for the other to line up her questions.

“Have you finally calmed down?” He text her hours later. “Yes, I’m easy.” She replied to him.  She had missed him the hours they had stayed without any communication. She couldn’t keep up.

They made small talk as they updated each other how hard the past few hours seemed like days apart for the both of them… I think there was both a mutual feeling of love between them.

That wasn’t the end if their their fights that day.  Change that to E-fights 😁😁

At some point in the conversation she mentioned a concern she had had the day before… Him willing to have unprotected sex with her at their date.  It bothered her. Especially now that she had seen a different story. And for the second time that day, Hell’s Flames went up between them.

He was very upset that she was doubting him.  Very upset that she questioned him. Actually, he was very annoyed that she thought he was a promiscuous man. It degenerated very quickly and soon, there was name calling from him.  This man was quite a sport.

She wasn’t having this a second time… She blocked Him! It was becoming too much of a routine now. It was evident his man loved to shout at anything and everything… She was tired!

It took the intervention of her best friend to get them talking again. Four days later. She couldn’t concentrate at work.  She kept messing up. She was banging doors as if it was their fault they opened up.  At one point she was mad at the floor for being on the floor… She missed Prince.

On the other side, Prince was a tormented soul.  He was constantly moody. He couldn’t sleep. He gave his best friend and house mate on hell of time and he couldn’t tell him why… He was missing his woman and he didn’t know how to get through to her… It was exasperating!

On the day they got back to speaking, they had a pleasant conversation.  They both laughed at silly things and at their own folly. He was later to text her that he never appreciated her friend reaching out to him on her behalf but made it clear that it had not affected his affection towards her…

This time however, the egocentric side of his came out to play… He became cold and uwanting towards her.  Her every effort towards him felt like such a chore every single moment.

One day, she just snapped! She spoke out her mind to him. Told him how his actions towards her made her feel.

He was very calm about telling he had at no point expressed an interest in them pursuing a relationship!! This time round she flipped!!

She went on a rampage of words! She said things. Things that broke his spirit.  She attacked his esteem. She didn’t how to lose and so she chose her words very carefully.  Each one of them had to make him feel as empty and as hurt as his actions made him feel.

And for the umpteenth time, she blocked him! But this was not before he had thrown in a few insults of his own. Hitting her below the belt!

One month, after their initial contact she felt terribly sorry for her actions. It had never been in her nature to hurt anyone. Life has taught her otherwise…

She reached out to him.

She apologized to him.  She needed to the bigger person.  For anyone who knew Her, making an apology was the most humbling thing she ever did.  This girl was always used to winning at all costs… but here she was feeling like she was making a fool out of herself…

The apology was well received.  He explained her that he had moved on and that he wasn’t interested in a relationship anymore.  He just wanted to work and make money.

He offered the friendship option which she wholly accepted. 😎😎

Reaching out made her feel like a heavy weight had been lifted off her shoulder…

And only time this time would tell if the block initiated by him was forever!!

Ps: A few weeks later, he engaged her in a note so pleasant manner as she was trying to fundraise money for a young boy who needed urgent medical attention and this time she lost all respect for him.

All was not lost. She wad glad their paths didn’t cross any longer after their initial contact after all.

 

When the End Begins

Now, before I take the noose and tie round my neck or before I pop pills in an attempt to end my life, I would like to let you Family Bank just know how your name will appear on my death certificate as the cause of death.

My relationship with this institution must have started in 2010. At the time commercial banks were on the rampage charging extorbiant fees even students accounts. At the time, they were among the few banks that were offering a zero deposit account.

I faithfully, built my account with them, saving every single penny I earned with them. And do not be fooled, it was no easy task. I have always been an entrepreneur in the informal sector, popularly known as the Jua Kali. I have hawked everything. From shoes to dresses at Gikomba. Sold mandazi and Chapati… Sold tyres and other car accessories. I digress.

How did Family Bank get on a quest to kill me? In November 2015,I went on a certain Saturday to make a deposit of a couple of hundreds of thousands of shillings. The queues were long as it is characteristic of my branch, which has one teller in the corporate section. I dropped off my money with the branch manager with my account number written on the envelope. I left. A few days later I dropped by his office again to pick up the  transaction reciept as well as drop off some more money for him to deposit in my account. He offered me a seat and small talk as we were previously not acquainted.

At the time, I was in the process of acquiring a van which I wanted to run as a Matatu. This the huge deposits I was making in quick succession. I had stuck a deal with the car dealer to get it on hire purchase for a period of one year and so far, I had paid up almost a quarter of the total amount of the vehicle. The monthly repayment installment in a month were however very huge. About Kshs 200,000 a month.

The branch manager was really curious to know what other businesses I was dabbling in. At the time I was a clothes trader at Gikomba market. The van, was to supplement my income.

On a quick look through my account details and transactions the manager dangled a carrot in my face. He was surprised to see that I had never taken a loan from their institution in the years I had been a client with them.

He went if further to do some quick calculations that revealed, should I have taken a financing option with the bank, I would be paying at least half the amount of money I was paying to the car dealer. He also added, based on the strength of my account, my loan request would be done in less than 14days, was I to accept the offer. I asked for time to do my own calculations and research as I had previously heard horror stories of how banks ill treated their clients if they failed to pay up on time.

To. Cut the long story short, I did my math and decided to jump in the deep end head first. I went ahead and applied for the loan for which I qualified 80% financing.

I have always had a passion for the road, so I ended up working on my Matatu for three months just to get a practical feel of the industry. And boy did I learn a lot!!

My love hate affair with Family bank started in February. At the beginning of that month I saw me unwell. I was dealing with a few family issues that pushed me to depression. I was late on payment for 7 days. The amount of calls were incessant. Despite my being bedridden.

It has been a tough year in all aspects for me. And my finances got greatly affected. The economic situation in the country wasn’t  all to helpful. Lesson numerous Uno learnt, as a new investor, the Matatu industry is the worst bet anyone can make. Especially if you’re starting it on a loan. You as the investor, are usually the last to receive anything on the food chain, yet all financial responsibility lies on your shoulder.

When things go thicker, I met the manager and asked him to allow me to restructure the loan. He refused the first time. The second time was when my car was in the garage for a whole month in September, he refused a second time. In October, my whole month was decorated by a myriad of court cases fueled by a particular cop in Kiambu police station, whom I have since lodged a formal complaint against, in a letter that was received by the relevant parties between the 10th and 15th of October. This harassment sadly ended on the 24th of October where my vehicle was arrested and charged in court where I was slapped a Kshs 70,000 cash bail at the Kiambu Law courts. A week later, I saw myself at the same police station arrested under very questionable reasons. At this point I was exhausted. This vehicle was claiming more than it had ever brought me. This particular day, I was released when I gifted the Kiambu Police Station traffic department the vehicle because it seemed they were more interested in the vehicle than I was.

A week later I met the branch manager again and made a request to restructure my loan one final time. You do not need to be a genius to guess the answer. It was at this point I made a decision to sell off this car. It had already sunk me into serious debt and there was no end in sight.

A few offers came through and I was sure I was going to end the year vanless. Until a few clients offered to buy me out and undertake the loan. I consulted my branch manager again who was vehemently opposed to this buy out plan. All this while I was servicing my loan without fail.

Come December 2016, I didn’t have the money to pay my monthly installment though I had a client who was looking to purchase the car. I asked for time to allow me to finish the deal. It was offered to me half heartedly. When it became evident that the client was taking longer than expected to make a decision I got into the hustle to get money to service my December instlalment. Things however, didn’t go as expected. I communicated the same to my credit manager. Hoping he would allow me to operate in the festive season and pay them off as during these times is the most productive in the Matatu industry. That wasn’t to be. 10 days later, my credit manager sent an order to the auctioneers to repossess my vehicle. He also effected orders to freeze any further resources I may have with the bank or with my Sacco until I pay up

Honestly, I’m done fighting this battle. There’s bills, debts, arrears, arrears I have accumulated over this particular vehicle and the branch manager’s constant refusal to allow me restructure this loan has made me lose faith in the Kenyan banking industry.

All I wanted was to sell off this car. All I wanted was for someone to buy off the loan from me. I have seen it happen within my particular branch so I don’t understand why my case was different?

So, I start my year, with nothing to my name. I start the year with uncertainty over paying bills like school fees and house rentable probably eventually even food and electricity.

It’s a battle I have fought almost all of 2016. I’m done here. And with nothing to look forward to, it makes it even bleaker.

Anyway, should I not survive this year. Should I make rash decisions that I have been toying with in my mind, may the heavens be kind to me. And the earth kinder to my babies. And let it be known that the cause of my death was Family Bank.

Wait until you hear how this same manager tried to recruit for a non existent business one year later after frustrating me to my wits end.

I am grateful to God I am that I laugh through this story today.

Tough Choices

Phone makers pay no attention to details.  Well, at least not those who manufactured this particular brand that of phone that she owned. She could still see that Prince kept trying to call her… Despite her blocking his number from contacting her.

This was the morning after.

She was keen to make sure she never ever gets in contact with that guy. ‘Who does he think he is? To shout at me, yet he doesn’t know me?’ She thought to herself. It pissed her off to say the very least.

In introspection, the real truth was that his behaviour towards her reminded her of her dark past.  Her ex was a certified shouter. More like a certified yeller.  He yelled at her over anything and everything.

Any time anyone raised their voice at her, she cowered down in fear. It made her feel small. Timid. Inadequate even. She hated it!

Despite her joyous, cherry and extroverted nature, she had her flaws.  Beneath the picture perfect smile and her bold and boisterous easy flowing charm, she had scars that ran deep and dark!!

Curiosity wasn’t going to let her have it any other way. Not in this case. She opened her spam text messages and she found a dozen messages from Prince.

He was sorry, they said. He had over reacted.  They continued. He wanted to be given a second chance. And because she had taken too long to respond to him.  He had given up. Albeit half heartedly… He was walking away his final message read👣…

All this in a span of 12 hours or more since their first altercation.

She smiled when she read through his messages. Actually, it was more of a smirk.  Inwardly, she felt like a winner. He had shouted at her. It was only fair that he felt the anguish she had. It did feel victorious to read his tormented messages that morning.

She replied. Finally. She was seeking for an apology. She deserved it!

As if on cue, Prince asked to be unblocked so he could verbally deliver his apology. She complied.  It was the sweetest news to her ears.  He said he regretted every word he uttered but most importantly, he was afraid of losing her.  And he would make sure he would never repeat it as long as they both lived and as long as she was his woman. He swore upon his dead mother’s grave!!

Days went by. Theirs culminated into a relationship.  An online relationship.  He told her about his background and she did the same. He was different this one.  He woke her up with video calls each morning.  He sang to her. Didn’t miss a chance to let her know how beautiful she was… It was heaven for her.

And he wasn’t wrong.  She was a dark skinned African beauty. Full thick African lips.  A smile that revealed perfectly set milk white teeth. Eyes that seemed to read your innermost thoughts.  A silky sultry voice. She took time to work out so each one of her curves was where it should have been  and exactly how they looked in paintings and in photos of models.  Did I mention she was also of average height? At 5’6″ this girl was a stunning beauty.

After a month of flirting and getting to know each other, they both agreed it time to meet up. They settled on a date and time. The venue however was a bit of a grey area. While she loved the outdoors.  He loved the opposite. Quite a contrast for his personality.  I mean he was fun! He was loud. He was funny. But he hated being in the company of people.  Odd right? But like the old adage goes, variety is the spice of life…

They settled on meeting at his house.  He was going to make her lunch he told her. While she was apprehensive about it, she jumped at the opportunity.  She would get to know how the other half lived effortlessly.  She was a risk taker! This is one she was going to walk into eyes wide open.

On the material day she told her best friend and family exactly where she was going. Only she edited the why. ‘Just in case I dissapear, they already have an idea of where they would start tracing my phone from’, she mused over this as she was getting ready to leave.  Thankfully for her, she looked stunning in anything she wore.

The date was quite a pleasant one. He didn’t cook like he had promised to but he ordered take out of all her favourite food and got her a bottle of wine to wash down the meal.

He was a gentleman in all of this… She instantly knew she had found her match! In her mind, she started making babies and naming them.  She had already built their perfect home and was ready to follow him wherever he went! This was her leave and cleave man! Something she had never felt with all the men she had dated before. Right before her eyes, a fairy tale was unfolding…

As the day wore on.  They got comfortable with each other.  Sharing butterfly kisses every so often.  It was pure bliss…

Before she left, they both shared a kiss. Deep and long. He was an excellent kisser as she was. And the longer they did. They found they found themselves groping and feeling each other.  Well, they were both way above the legal age, so nothing was wrong with what they were doing.  This kiss grew more and more intense. She had never been touched like he was doing at moment.

He kissed her throat.  Assaulted her ears. He cupped her full rotund breasts in his hands…. He made his way to her already wet mound… He touched her. She felt a heartbeat rise in her clitoris… next thing she knew, he was going for the zip of her dress. It slithered down her silhouette hour glass figure… Next he reached for the clasp of her bra… Her beautifully shaped melons with nipples erect were finally free… He took a minute to take in all of her beauty in awe…

In less than a split second.  He was nude.  In the bare. One look at the girth of his bloodfilled manhood, sent shivers down her spine… It was what every woman dreamt of… Words wouldn’t exactly do the description justice…

He kissed her again.  As he lay her on the soft pillows of his bed. With intensity now.  A flaming hunger she could feel. Her passion was beginning to rise. It was rising fast. The air between them became hot and steamy and scarce…

She pulled away….

He looked at her in askance. She propped herself up with the pillows. And cupped herself up.  Like someone shielding themselves from the cold.

“Is anything the matter, my love,” he asked of her.

“I feel like we are taking this too fast hun.” She replied

“But I promised to marry you darling.” He added.

“Sweetheart, I cannot do this. I just met you and besides no one of us has any protection. Or do you have any?”

“You said you weren’t dating. So I don’t expect you to be of any risk to me. And I don’t bring women to my house so I don’t have any condoms.  And besides that, I know myself. I don’t think we are at risk.” He implored.

“I appreciate all of that you have promised me. And you being faithful.  But like I told you, I can not have any sexual relation with anyone without us both getting tested together. ” she said with finalty.

And with that she stood up to get dressed.

He didn’t even look her way. He said she had finished his feelings for her. She was too uptight. She was his woman but she was acting otherwise.  They were both adults but she was behaving like a baby.

This was her cue to leave. She fixed her make up.  Poured herself a glass of water. Picked up her car keys and started making her way out if his house…

He grabbed her from the back! He kissed her with a smile on his face…

“You’re a fiesty one,” he told her, “And I love that about you already.” He added

This man surely had a way with his words and actions.

“Come, let me walk you outside as you tell me when you want us to take these tests you’re talking about.”

She smiled. She knew he was the one!

Her long drive home saw her mind oscillating between falling in love and thinking about the way his kisses on her lips had made her feel….

Confessions of a confused soul

When she first saw the friend request on Facebook, she ignored it for two weeks. Despite this particular account being her pseudo, she was still a very sheltered person. Life had taught her that mystery was Good.

Fast forward to the day she accepted his friend request. The messages started to hit her inbox almost immediately.  It was like the person on the other end was practically waiting for her to accept it.

He was charming. Witty.  Full or humour. A quick glance at his profile revealed a tall lanky good looking fellow. But she wasn’t interested.  Just like she never was. Her last relationship had broken her.  She was wary or men. Very wary…

However.  He had a way with his words that wormed their way into her brain. She loved intelligent men and this one was turning on the Sapio sexual in her… Despite her one word responses to his questions, he wrote to her in long, flowery flattery. She questioned his intentions over and over again. Actually, she had to log out of her account several times a day just to avoid chatting him up. But she missed him as soon as she did.  Sigh😊

Their charade of words went on for another two weeks until he asked for her number.  “I wanna hear your real voice,” he had said to her and he immediately sent his as a shoe of commitment.  It took her another 48hours to think through the decision.  Well, she finally gave in… She sent him his number.

Not one to waste time, he called her as soon as she typed in her last digit in a message to him. He made her laugh.  He was so forthright with his words and didn’t miss the chance to make his intentions known. He was looking for a wife. And his intuition had convinced him that she was his missing rib.

Apparently, his girlfriend had died two years back and he was now ready to move on with his life… She just took all that in. Not agreeing or objecting to anything he said. She had only engaged him for s fortnight and she wasn’t one to believe in fairy tales  so to her it was just another story….

Back to their chats, she merely commented how youthful his voice sounded. All hell broke lose!! He went ballistic. This should have been the first res flag.📌

Earlier on he had told her they were agemates. Actually, she had thanked her stars. It looked like the curse of older men getting attracted to her had finally been lifted… I digress.

So here he was on the other end of the phone, calling her names.  And telling her why she had never found love because of her judgemental nature…

Being fiesty and very temperamental. She blocked his number.  He unfriended her.

“Good riddance to bad rubbish,” she thought herself… And since it was late at night she turned in thinking this was the last she would hear of this stranger so aptly called Prince…

Only she didn’t know it was just the beginning…

 

 

My year in review …

I’m on my bed, nursing injuries I acquired earlier this week, musing about what this year has been for me.

Almost about this same time,  last year, I made a blog entry with a lot of enthusiasm on how I was expectant of this year. It was the year that I was turning 30. That alone was a huge milestone for me.😊

2016 has been a year that has taught me lessons a few people may take a lifetime to achieve.

My year started off with the end of a 7 year relationship that I had invested all my worth into. It tore me. I lost everything I had ever worked for in the blink of an eye. Went to bed rich, woke up a beggar😊. I chuckle

It has been an year that taught me what resilience means. I knew I was tough alright, but I didn’t know how much inner strength I had. I don’t know if this is inborn or if I owe it to God, but on days I felt I didn’t deserve to live, I woke up to the hope of having a better day than yesterday.

2016 has taught me the value of Friendship. The value of family. It brought about for me, people who I never would have thought of, to hold me together. Friends became strangers but the most beautiful thing, is that strangers became friends. To everyone that held my hand in 2016, I can never ever truly thank you or repay you.  But deep in my heart, I always know I owe you one. God bless you. Miriam Nzilani, TSL aka Laura Munga, Nusu, Chopie, Shiru and Shiru, Muchina, your Mum, Mish, Sabbie, Nesh, my Cucu (bless her soul) and above all my dad. You all left a positive mark in my heart. And to everyone who made a point of making me know that I am a special child of God. Thank you.!!

This year has just been full of lessons. I learnt how to believe in myself. Learnt how to trust in God  even when everything seemed so bleak. Learnt how to unlearn all the things I had picked up along life’s road.

In 2016 , I have learnt it’s not easy being a young, hot, successful woman. The bile that so many have against me is palpable. Never a day goes before I hear a rumor about me , sleeping around to make it in life. I cannot even keep a male friend 😂😂. God knows how many sleepless nights I have had thinking of how to strike my next deal or how many times I have worked unconventional jobs just to take care of me and mine. If you have an explanation as to how I have worked days and nights on end on my Matatu sometimes as driver , other times as a dondaa, then share it, cos I don’t. I have learnt to ignore the foolishness around means focus on what’s important. Your words And lies about me haven’t stopped me from making an extra shilling.🤑 Keep at it😉

I learnt how to be a better parent in 2016. Losing my friends was a blessing in disguise. I have learnt how to take comfort in hanging out with my babies. Learnt that it’s not material things that have kept them happy.

I learnt what it feels like to have nothing and as such it has made me very compassionate. I have become less judgmental. Very indifferent. Fair and sober in decision making. Decisive. Most importantly, YOLO is no longer just a phrase for me.

I have been through Near Death Experiences. I have seen it all. Suffered derision. Scorn. Hatred. Fame. Success. Loneliness. Emptiness. Abundance… Everything in equal measure. And in all this, one thing stood true for me, God lives. Yes. He does.

So, as the year draws to an end, I have zero regret for the choices I made. Zero regret for the path I walked. I am grateful for all the lessons that 2016 threw my way. They were a wonderful foundation for the start of the rest of my life.

So yes, I wasn’t able to throw the mega birthday party I was  meant to but clearly, this year has Been a party since January. Parties of all sorts. Trust me.

I can only wait to see what the year ahead holds in store for me.

Ooh, yes, as I share my chronicles as a young woman in the errant Matatu Industry. Stay tuned 🤓

Growing up takes more than adding onto years..

I have just finished watching an episode of Sophia The First which has reminded me of my last blog post. The mind can play serious tricks on us when we allow it to… Rightly, so.

Tonight, I’m not here to whine or mourn about what was. Or may have been. No. Tonight marks a new journey into freedom.

A while back in my literary musings, I made a Facebook post that rubbed a lot of people the wrong way. I was celebrating my freedom. They thought I was condemning them.

These past few months have seen me grow. Grow immensely. A common joke between my best friend and I has been, I have also moved to the heavier side of the scale. Yes, I have. My favourite jeans can no longer go up my thighs.😜

When my world came tumbling down, I didn’t think I would have the strength for live and fight another day. I wanted to die. God, however, had a different plan how my life was to pan out.

Nights on end, I stayed up late in the night questioning Him and blaming Him for all my woes. I cried. I prayed. I hoped. I despaired. Eventually, I surrendered. He answered. Prayers He knew deserved His urgent attention. The rest, I believe He’s working on. In His order of Priority not mine.

This is not to say, my life has been without challenges. No! I have been on one hell of a roller coaster ride!! I have had personal attacks on my sole source of livelihood, had personal attacks on my character. Personal attacks on almost everything I have laid my hands on.

But in all of this, I haven’t lost my Faith. I haven’t lost my Focus. One wise man,a long time ago, said if you stop to throw a stone at every stone that barks at you, you’ll never reach your destination. I believe all, I’m facing is to prepare me for something better. Something beyond my imagination .

The  best thing that has come out of all this, I have learnt to how to find peace in the eye of the storm. God lives. Above all.

He’s been replacing what I lost. Let me rephrase that. He has been replacing What is important in my life and weeding our the junk. Sending me to places my wildest imagination would never have seen. Basically, He’s moulding me to What He wants me to be. Not what I want to be. He’s even sent a new sherrif to my town😉 But that remains a story for another day…

God Lives.